Discovering infidelity is devastating. Discovering infidelity in a marital situation is soul-destroying. You have promised eternity to each other, and it was revealed to be a lie. That’s why it’s important to know that you don’t have to stay in a marriage like this. Yes, we are taught that marriage should last a lifetime, and in an ideal world, it would.
But, you will know within your heart whether you can, or should, forgive your spouse after infidelity. Fortunately, we are here to tell you that you can have a new beginning; there is a future for you that’s full of happiness, mutual respect, and love. Read on if you want to learn more about what happens in a divorce when a spouse cheats, and how you can recover from it.
The Settlement
Contrary to popular belief, the overall divorce settlement does not frequently change due to infidelity. While it does change on a state-by-state basis and so could positively impact what you receive as a woman, don’t go into the process expecting an easy ride because of this betrayal. Depending on the details, it is highly likely that the court will look upon you with sympathy, especially when seeking custody of children.
The Betrayal
An infidelity divorce is sadly one of the common types. Naturally, the whirlwind of emotions that follow a betrayal such as this will make compromising in a divorce settlement all the more difficult, as heartbreak blends with rage and fury. Putting your mental health first is key here, so visit a counselor, whether on your own or with your partner, to help you process the shock of what you have been through.
The Process
It won’t be easy, and it will be a journey filled with ups and downs. But, finding yourself in a position where you can forgive your ex will provide you the type of internal peace that resentment simply doesn’t allow. Personal therapy will empower you to take the steps towards a place of forgiveness, ultimately setting you free from the emotional shackles that this experience may have put on you.
The Children
If you have children, it is vitally important that you keep them out of the conflict. If they are older, it may be tempting to use them as a crutch and place more on them than is appropriate. While your child may side with you at the moment, and it could feel satisfying to have someone ‘on your team’ throughout the breakup, they will get older and see the situation for what it is – a parent manipulating their child.
It is completely understandable why you would not want someone in your life who has cheated on you and betrayed you. But just remember, divorce after infidelity could be the gift you didn’t know you needed. When one door closes, another opens, and as impossible as it feels right now, it will get better. Make use of the countless resources available to you online, and reclaim your power.
Our team is here with compassion and resources to guide you in your journey. Visit our Free Resources page to download our free Divorce Explained E-Book or call us at 972-838-1181 to chat about the process.