Divorce is more than a dissolution of marriage. It’s also a division of a shared home and all the appliances, furnishings, and keepsakes within. Places hold memories and many objects carry sentimental value — potentially a decent monetary value, too. What’s the best way to separate the household and everything it contains? How can you and your soon-to-be ex divide real estate and your shared belongings fairly and with as little stress as possible?
As with all parts of divorce, it takes some compartmentalization and grace as you decide what to do with your shared possessions. Here’s how to navigate splitting up your household, from high-value items to sentimental objects to the house itself.
How to Divide Real Estate: Equitable Property Distribution During Divorce
The biggest question for most divorcing couples is what to do with your house. Texas is a community property state, which means assets acquired during the marriage are split fairly during the divorce. This doesn’t mean a 50–50 split or that only the person who made the purchase gets the thing, either — the court will determine which allocation of real estate is “just and right.”
In an uncontested divorce, many spouses already have an idea of what to do with the house. Perhaps one of you will stay and the other will move out, or perhaps you’ll both move out. Some people take turns occupying the home with the kids.
In most cases, though, the house is either being sold or it will be occupied by only one ex-spouse. Let’s look at both scenarios.
Keeping the House After a Divorce
A house purchased during the marriage is considered community property. It’s often one of the biggest concerns when deciding how to divide marital property.
If you or your soon-to-be-ex plan to remain in the house, it can be assigned as such in your Final Decree of Divorce. They will typically “buy out” their ex’s share with cash or other assets.
This opens the door to two options:
Option 1: One spouse keeps the house and lives there.
Option 2: One spouse keeps the house and rents it out.
However, it’s important to consider all belongings, especially those of significant value. For example, a judge may not consider it fair to award one person the house along with all the antiques, expensive appliances, etc. Distributing non-real estate assets, such as financial accounts and vehicles, to the other spouse can help balance the scales. Or, a judge may order one spouse to pay their ex part of the equity. Be sure there is a lien on the property to make this enforceable.
Some people refinance the mortgage so the house will only be in their name.
If one person will remain in the house, a Special Warranty Deed must be filed with the property records office. This indicates that the house has gone from joint to sole ownership (or transferred from one house to the other).
Selling the House After A Divorce
If you both decide to sell the house, the resulting funds will be distributed according to the “just and right” philosophy. This doesn’t always mean the spouse who paid more of the mortgage will get all the funds. A stay-at-home wife isn’t necessarily out of luck just because her husband made the payment. By allocating her part of the proceeds from a property sale, a judge can protect a petitioner who was financially dependent on her spouse.
What about property debt?
Whether you’re selling the house entirely or one person is staying, don’t forget your bank. Mortgage providers don’t care if the property owners get divorced. Your agreement with the bank will remain in place, even if you lose ownership. Some women have found themselves on the hook for the mortgage payment even if their ex kept the house and was ordered to pay the mortgage.
What about other real estate properties?
If you or your spouse acquired other Texas real estate during your marriage, such as a vacation home, that is also subject to a “just and right” distribution of assets.
What if one spouse bought or inherited the home before marriage?
Any property, including real estate, that a spouse acquired before marriage remains their separate property. This includes any building or land left to them by parents or grandparents, as well as anything they bought before getting married.
A house inherited by or given to one spouse during a marriage is an exception to the community property rule. That person typically gets the house as it’s considered separate property.
See more frequently asked questions about dividing the marital home.
As you see, even if you agree on the basics, it’s tricky to divide real estate. Let’s say your soon-to-be-ex offers to let you and the kids stay in the house and he’ll keep paying for it. Such an agreement is not enforceable until there is a Final Decree of Divorce — and if he stops paying for whatever reason, the mortgage company will seek payment from you.
Or, imagine you keep the property but decide to sell it later. Without a Special Warranty Deed on file, you may have issues selling the property if your ex’s name is still on the deed. Only a lawyer can write this form for you.
Alex’s Advice
As a divorce coach, Alexandra M. Geczi strives to make women feel empowered during their divorce. The high emotions and chronic stress can easily cloud your judgment. Be sure to make room for self-care and never rush into big decisions about financial separation — regarding real estate or anything else. It helps to have someone in your court (literally!) to provide a balanced, rational perspective.
At Alexandra Geczi Law Firm, we empower you to divide real estate with clarity and confidence. You may hire us for limited-scope representation to fill out deeds and other vital forms, even if you’re pursuing an amicable divorce.
Sorting the Stuff: How to Divide Household Items
There are three categories of “stuff” in every home: decor, functional items, and keepsakes. The last two are often the hardest to divide in a divorce. Some functional belongings, such as clothes, are fairly easy to split. But once you start cataloging your kitchen wares, entertainment devices, computers, exercise equipment, and so on, things can get tricky.
If you’re parting amicably, sit down with your soon-to-be-ex and go through all your shared belongings. For each item, ask yourself these questions:
- Is the item something either one of us wants to keep? (Sometimes, it’s easy to just let go of the stuff!)
- If so, who uses this item regularly?
- Does this item benefit one of us more than the other? Or will it benefit one after separation? For example, if one spouse is moving into a small apartment, they likely don’t need the huge dining room set.
- Can the item be easily replaced or duplicated? (It might be easier to let go of the cast-iron pan you used to share, and each get your own.)
- Does the item hold significant emotional value to one of us more than the other?
Separating marital property during a bitter divorce can be much harder. You may fight over valuable items. Emotions rise as you each try to claim your preferred objects. Items with significant monetary value can quickly become a new battleground.
Remember, any items that become a matter of disagreement can be set aside in a neutral place (such as a storage unit) until it’s time for the Final Decree of Divorce. It may also help to have a third party (a mutual friend, counselor, etc.) present to help defuse tension.
Meanwhile, make an honest inventory of all belongings that need to be provided. Be sure to keep records of:
- Purchase price and receipt
- Date purchased
- Proof of ownership or registration, if applicable
- Estimated resale value for major appliances, electronics, jewelry, etc.
Remember: at the end of the day, most objects are replaceable, and it’s not always worth the stress to argue over them. The purpose of divorce is to start a new life, and that means an opportunity for new stuff as well.
Now, let’s talk about irreplaceable objects.
Finding New Homes for Keepsakes
It might be tempting to toss wedding portraits, honeymoon souvenirs, and other keepsakes in the trash upon getting divorced. However, don’t discount the sentimental value of these items. During painful times, it may be better to store the objects out of sight, out of mind. You can return after you’ve healed a bit and decide what to do with them.
What about objects that have been imbued with memories of the good times? Something as benign as a teddy bear doesn’t match the emotional weight of, say, your wedding bands. But it could have a high sentimental value if your ex won it for you on a date.
Again, lean into your support system. A mutual friend or counselor can help you manage your emotions while you sort through sentimental belongings.
Consider, too, that your children may appreciate some of these items. They can always be set aside for later until it’s time to pass them down.
Wrapping Up
Dividing the marital home brings up many logistical, financial, and emotional decisions. As a general rule, assume that every change in property ownership and living situations carries a risk. Make sure to document everything and consult with lawyers to cover your bases. Our goal at Alexandra Gezi PLLC is for you to feel empowered rather than relying on assumptions or misinformation.
Interested in hiring us for divorce services or coaching? We offer both full and limited-scope representation, and we can also complete the necessary deeds and forms for property separation in a DIY divorce.