Splitting the Home Part II: Divide Household Items

Sorting the Stuff: How to Divide Household Items

There are three categories of “stuff” in every home: decor, functional items, and keepsakes. The last two are often the hardest to divide in a divorce. Some functional belongings, such as clothes, are fairly easy to split. But once you start cataloging your kitchen wares, entertainment devices, computers, exercise equipment, and so on, things can get tricky. Here’s some guidance as you divide household items for a marital separation.

Deciding Who Gets What

If you’re parting amicably, sit down with your soon-to-be ex and go through all your shared belongings. It can help to go room by room and take stock. For each item, ask yourself these questions:

• Is the item something either one of us wants to keep? (Sometimes, it’s easy just to let go of the stuff!)
• If so, who uses this item regularly?
• Does this item benefit one of us more than the other? Or will it benefit one after separation? For example, if one spouse is moving into a small apartment, they likely don’t need the huge dining room set.
• Can the item be easily replaced or duplicated? (It might be easier to let go of the cast-iron pan you used to share, and each get your own.)
• Does the item hold significant emotional value to one of us more than the other?

Keep track of what you’ve agreed upon. If you’re not sure or find you can’t agree, put the item on a “pending” list. You can revisit later with a mediator or when things seem clearer.

And if neither of you has a strong interest in the item? Sometimes, it’s incredibly freeing to just sell or donate it to a new home.

What if we’re fighting over shared belongings?

Separating marital property during a bitter divorce can be much harder. You may find yourself in a tug-of-war over valuable items. Emotions rise as you each try to claim your preferred objects. Items with significant monetary value can quickly become a new battleground.

Even couples who are separating amicably can find tensions rising as they decide who gets what.

Remember, any items that become a matter of disagreement can be set aside in a neutral place (such as a storage unit) until it’s time for the Final Decree of Divorce. It may also help to have a third party (a mutual friend, counselor, etc.) present to help defuse tension as you divide household items.

Meanwhile, make an honest inventory of all belongings that need to be divided. Be sure to keep records of:

• Purchase price and receipt
• Date purchased
• Proof of ownership or registration, if applicable
• Estimated resale value for major appliances, electronics, jewelry, etc.

This documentation can be helpful for crafting an equitable divorce agreement that covers who gets which high-value items. (Need a compassionate divorce lawyer in the Dallas, TX area? Our team focuses on solving marital property disputes with minimal drama while supporting your well-being.)

Now, let’s talk about irreplaceable objects.

Finding New Homes for Keepsakes

It might be tempting to toss wedding portraits, honeymoon souvenirs, and other keepsakes in the trash upon getting divorced. However, don’t discount the sentimental value of these items. During painful times, it may be better to store the objects out of sight, out of mind. You can return after you’ve healed a bit and decide what to do with them.

What about objects that have been imbued with memories of the good times? Something as benign as a teddy bear doesn’t match the emotional weight of, say, your wedding bands. But it could have a high sentimental value if your ex won it for you on a date.

Consider, too, that your children may appreciate some of these items. They can always be set aside for later until it’s time to pass them down.

Self-Care During Separation of Property

Divvying up shared belongings can make the divorce feel all the more real. What was initially a verbal conversation now takes tangible form as you see items marked with your name versus their name. You realize you’ll need to find a new favorite saucepan and that you won’t be sitting on the same couch watching movies together again.

These feelings can be stressful even in an amicable separation. Don’t neglect your self-care as you decide who gets what. Remember, you can always take a break from inventorying and assigning your shared belongings. Definitely take some time and space if you begin to argue over an item.

Here’s how you can practice self-care while you divide marital property:

Lean into your support system.

A mutual friend or counselor can help you manage your emotions while you sort through sentimental belongings.

Try decontextualizing the items.

It may be hard to look at sentimental objects with a neutral eye. However, for most shared household items, you can “unlink” your positive or negative memories from the object. That wok exists separately from your cooking adventures as a couple. Acknowledge the memory and let the wok just be a wok.

Ground yourself

Be sure to drink water, take some deep breaths, and go for a walk if you need some time and space.

Wrapping Up

Dividing your stuff during a divorce can be tedious and emotionally draining. Especially when dealing with high-value items, it’s important to stay as neutral as possible. Take note of the purchase price and stick to the facts when evaluating who should keep the item. When in doubt, take a break and revisit later. If you still can’t agree, let a third party help you decide how to divide household items — or get rid of the item altogether.

Above all else, be sure you’re practicing self-care and protecting your peace as you separate your household.